Many of us know how to play right into the hands of self inflicted stress. Maybe you set a beautiful table for a party, but forgot the salt and pepper shakers. If at the end of the party, you are beating yourself up about the shakers instead of enjoying the compliments you received, then you are being too hard on yourself. Like all bad habits, beating yourself up can be broken.
10 Strategies to Conquer Being Too Hard on Yourself:
1. Ask for help. Many times our mess ups happen when we take on too much, and then our vision turns into a mess. With an extra pair of hands visions can come true. Many people that hate to ask for help are always willing to pitch in, so let others pay you back.
2. Know that living life to its fullest is hard work, and sometimes we make mistakes. it’s just the law of averages. But a mistake should not stop you from building a big life.
3. See failures as growth, not a set back. Ask yourself, “What did I learn?” Michael Jordan says, “I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed”.
4. Use constructive criticism to your advantage. Replace obsessing about the criticism you received with what you have learned about yourself.
5. Accept a compliment with grace. When someone compliments you, don’t try to talk them out of it, instead say, “Thank you.” Do not assume the person wasn’t sincere or didn’t know what they were talking about, instead accept positive feedback with open hands.
6. Stop yourself from saying, “I’m sorry” as your mantra. Do not assume the world wants to beat you up. Before you say, “I’m sorry”, evaluate if these two words are sincere, or just a way to prove that you are humble. Listen to yourself and look carefully at the situation before you apologize for something that may not be your burden.
7. Quit fixating on past mistakes. The phrase, “learn from your mistakes”, means you learned your lesson and you’ve learned to move on.
8. Don’t overthink an issue. Don’t allow your mind to spiral into envisioning all the scenarios of things that can go wrong. Most of the time how things turn out has not been on our radar. Live in the moment.
9. Create a pep talk for yourself. Think of 4 positive attributes or 4 positive memories and memorize them. Before you enter a stressful situation give yourself a pep talk.
10. Compliment others. By complimenting others you are sowing the seeds for accepting yourself.
A goal to aspire for in life is to be the best person you can be. If your thoughts are a constant reminder of the negative parts of your life, then you have set up a roadblock and growth is passive and sluggish. Use these 10 strategies to build positive thoughts and then reap the benefits of becoming the best version of you.
by Cathy Buchanan
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